DND Mode (DO-NOT-DISTURB)
DND Mode (DO-NOT-DISTURB)I don't feel like doing anything today.. No doubt I got so many things to do and follow up. In fact I got implementation to do tomorrow and in the next few days. I'm not even prepared for all that.. I still feel hurt and sore for what happen yesterday..
I have not been having proper sleep all these while.. Coz I am a light sleeper. I will always be awake to take a look at Rian. Making sure he sleeps in a proper position. Most of the time while sleeping he'll just turn and turn and will hit his head on the walls and starts to cry..
Saturday.. he woke up in the middle of the nite and cry.. I juz dunno wat he wants. Already fed him and I massage his tummy in case he got stomach upset.. But he keeps on crying. Lift him up, tried to hush him.. Still didn't stop. I got pissed off and shouted at him. "DIAM". I just can't control my patience anymore. I'm sleepy, I didn't get enuf sleep and this is what he's doing to me. Hubby took over and I went to sleep.. The next day (Sunday) my religious class starts after 3 weeks of temp "shutdown" as Ustaz was away to Egypt. Mum told all my aunties that I shouted at Rian last nite. They were not happy about it and I got the scolding instead. *Hey!! Whats wrong wif me shouting at my son? What u people care? U people take care of him? U people sleep wif him? U people buy his diapers? U people buy his milk? No right??* I just keep my mouth shut.. I'm so damn pissed!!
At noon while Rian was sitting on my lap, I was combing his hair wif my fingers.. And I feel something soft on his left head. I dunno whether it's a bump or wat?? It cud be a fall or maybe he hit on something while sleeping. He didn't cry when I press on that "bump". Maybe I'll just monitor it these few days..
In the evening, my niece came. Rian was so excited.. He was smiling and laughing and keep on chasing her wanted to play. My niece is coming to 4 years old.. A smart little girl who speaks English fluently. But one thing abt her, she's a bit rough. Sometimes she can just push Rian and snatch things from him. She's been reminded again and again not to do that to Rian.. But she didn't listen. Rian being a toddler and still learning how to walk steadily, always be the victim. Whenever he came close to my niece, we got to be on a lookout. Even if we are on a lookout, falls still happen. And this makes Rian falls dunno how many times and he cried from the pain. At 10pm while I was making Rian's feeding in the kitchen, I heard another cry from him. I got really pissed off and bring Rian in to our room. He juz wont stop crying. I wonder how much pain he's going thru now. I got pissed wif hubby for not taking care of him. At the same time, I cried too. I feel so sad looking at him going thru the pain caused by a little girl and 5 ignorant adults busy watching the tv..!! I totally had enuf of dat.. He had countless fall on that day.. We'll be out of the house next time if my niece is coming..
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